Monday, January 6, 2014

What Do You Do When Enough Just Isn't Enough?

They say, (whoever "they" may be), that the grass is always greener on the "other side." But there comes a time in life when we are no longer content to covet our neighbor’s grass from afar. It may start out as you walking your dog a few extra times around the block to check out your neighbor’s landscaping, or dropping by for a dip in that jacuzzi you love so much. But I wouldn't be surprised if you eventually offered to house sit while your neighbor goes on that European cruise you've been praying about... Before you know it you may find yourself dreaming about what its like to actually BE your neighbor... does this sound familiar?

I have a confession: I've coveted that metaphorical grass of my neighbor for so long that in the process I neglected my own back yard. I'm not much of a gardener as it is, but while my eyes were focused beyond the borders of my own fence... the grass at my feet withered and died. Every day my brittle heart grew a little colder, and a little more bitter as I ached and longed to be something that I wasn't and would never be.  One day I woke up choking on a pile of dead weeds and I realized that while I was busy loving and coveting everything about everyone else...

I forgot to love myself.

This year in 2014 ITS TIME TO MAKE A DECISION, we owe it to ourselves to focus on our own backyards. By all means, please spend time with your family and friends, they have helped to build you into the wonderful person you are today! Don’t be afraid to serve. Give yourself in service to your community, your school, your work, your church, and practice humility and gratitude. But in doing so, don't forget yourself. A midst the thousands of voices pulling at you and dragging you in varied directions, you deserve to find time to lay in the sun and water your own grass.

The world is full of people who are just waiting in line to tear us down with words of anger, judgment and bitterness, and I've found that there are too few people waiting in the wings with words of love to build us back up. But sometimes the girl who does the most damage to me... is me. Every time I try to change myself to fit in, to blend in, to look like someone else, I diminish the gifts God has blessed me with.

I have another confession: I killed my own grass.

This year I struggled with New Years Resolutions. After much prayer and contemplation during a post-holiday, pre-New Year’s depressed meltdown I finally decided that all I really wanted to be was enough. I had come up with an extensive list of things (colleges, 10-step plans, gyms, personal-trainers, programs, self-help books, sermons, you-name-it) that was sure to help me reach my goal by this time next year. At the end of 2014, if I followed my plan to the T I would be:

  A published author, known throughout the USA
  A lovely, gorgeous, beautiful woman (with the confidence to match) who would turn heads when she enters the room
  An accomplished artist and musician
  A respected academic with 1 (or more) legitimate college degrees
  A well-traveled, well-spoken, well-respected public speaker
  A professional consultant and historian

I went to bed that night feeling hopeful that I could FINALLY become EVERYTHING that I thought everyone thought/said/wanted me to be so that I would finally be Enough.

But the next morning I looked at the list again and had a revelation: 
I am already all of the things that I wanted to be… I just never took the time to recognize it before.

This year we need to build ourselves back up. I want the grass on my side of the fence to be just as green. Let’s love ourselves more diligently, more often and more publicly! Let’s use positive adjectives to describe our bodies and forgiving words to describe our hearts! This year my prayer for all of us is that we each know without a doubt that we are smart and talented and beautiful and most certainly Enough. All we have to do now is believe it!

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“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God” (2 Corinthians 3:5)

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