They say, (whoever "they" may
be), that the grass is always greener on the "other side." But
there comes a time in life when we are no longer content to covet our neighbor’s
grass from afar. It may start out as you walking your dog
a few extra times around the block to check out your neighbor’s landscaping, or
dropping by for a dip in that jacuzzi you love so much. But I wouldn't be
surprised if you eventually offered to house sit while your neighbor goes on
that European cruise you've been praying about... Before you know it you may
find yourself dreaming about what its like to actually BE your
neighbor... does this sound familiar?
I
have a confession: I've coveted that metaphorical grass of
my neighbor for so long that in the process I neglected my own back yard. I'm not much of a gardener as it is, but
while my eyes were focused beyond the borders of my own fence... the grass at
my feet withered and died. Every day my brittle heart grew a little colder, and
a little more bitter as I ached and longed to be something that I wasn't and
would never be. One day I woke up choking on a pile of dead weeds and
I realized that while I was busy loving and coveting everything about everyone
else...
I forgot to love myself.
This year in 2014 ITS
TIME TO MAKE A DECISION, we
owe it to ourselves to focus on our own backyards. By all means, please spend
time with your family and friends, they have helped to build you into the
wonderful person you are today! Don’t be afraid to serve. Give yourself in
service to your community, your school, your work, your church, and practice
humility and gratitude. But in doing so, don't forget yourself. A midst the thousands of voices
pulling at you and dragging you in varied directions, you deserve to
find time to lay in the sun and water your own grass.
The world is full of people who are just
waiting in line to tear us down with words of anger, judgment and bitterness,
and I've found that there are too few people waiting in
the wings with words of love to build us back up. But sometimes
the girl who does the most damage to me... is me. Every
time I try to change myself to fit in, to blend in, to look like someone else,
I diminish the gifts God has blessed me with.
I have another confession: I
killed my own grass.
This year I struggled with New Years
Resolutions. After much prayer and contemplation during a post-holiday, pre-New
Year’s depressed meltdown I finally decided that all I really wanted to be was enough.
I had come up with an extensive list of things (colleges, 10-step plans, gyms,
personal-trainers, programs, self-help books, sermons, you-name-it) that was
sure to help me reach my goal by this time next year. At the end of 2014, if I
followed my plan to the T I would be:
•
A published author, known throughout the
USA
•
A lovely, gorgeous, beautiful woman (with
the confidence to match) who would turn heads when she enters the room
•
An accomplished artist and musician
•
A respected academic with 1 (or more)
legitimate college degrees
•
A well-traveled, well-spoken,
well-respected public speaker
•
A professional consultant and historian
I went to bed that night feeling hopeful
that I could FINALLY become EVERYTHING that I thought everyone thought/said/wanted me to be so that I would
finally be Enough.
But the next
morning I looked at the list again and had a revelation:
I am already all of the things that I wanted to be… I
just never took the time to recognize it before.
This year we
need to build ourselves back up.
I want the grass on my side of the fence to be just as green. Let’s love
ourselves more diligently, more often and more publicly! Let’s use positive
adjectives to describe our bodies and forgiving words to describe our hearts!
This year my prayer for all of us is that we each know without a doubt that we
are smart and talented and beautiful and most certainly Enough.
All we have to do now is believe it!
*
* *
“Not
that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our
sufficiency is of God” (2 Corinthians 3:5)
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