The Language of Friendship

"Every artist dips his brush into his own soul, and paints
his own nature into his pictures." (Henry Ward Beecher)

I have FINALLY finished a painting! After approximately fourteen years I have completed the painting that I have struggled to complete since the day we found out that I was skilled with a paintbrush. This painting (see left) is not my usual sunrise, sunset, palm-tree extravaganza and it doesn’t have the reds, pinks, oranges, and yellows that I love. But I feel accomplished because my best friend and sister is now the proud recipient of this 2014 Kanani original.

I’ve done a lot of paintings over the course of my lifetime. The first painting I ever sold was for the overwhelming fee of $100.00, as a freshman in High School. I can’t say that the commission I generated was quite worth the expense at the time, but I was never prouder than the moment when I exchanged that twine-wrapped canvas for five crisp twenties. Thank you Mr. C for being my very first patron! In retrospect, it was my first lesson on the value of hard work, and I’ve never forgotten it!

But back to Katie... Katie has been with me since the very beginning. We met at a Pokemon trading card session (remember those?) where each of us attempted to swindle the other in a trade, and from 4^th grade forward we were best friends. There is a tennis picture floating around somewhere (although we both try to deny it), and this snapshot of our childhood pretty much sums up our relationship in a nutshell. Katie and her high-waisted, belted uniform shorts and tucked in shirt stands next to me beaming while she holds her racquet with pride. I am sporting bright red coke-bottle glasses, braces, a pleated skirt that nearly extends to my ankles and high-cut athletic socks, and the smile on my face is equally wide. I smile every single time this photo reappears.

However, despite our love for one another and our 15 year long friendship, I have never made Katie a painting.

It was Katie herself that has been hounding me about this for the past 3 years consecutively. “Everyone else has one, where’s mine?” Seems to be the common theme. But as I tried to explain to her (albeit rather unsuccessfully), it’s different with her. She knows me in ways other people can only pretend to, and we often joke that she “lives in my head,” and vice versa. But what I couldn’t explain, was that I wanted her to have the best I could provide, not a cheap imitation. Unfortunately, at the rate I was moving... my “best,” might not have been produced until her wedding day, or another equally auspicious occasion many years down the road.

Finally completing this painting for Katie has opened my eyes to a lesson that is now abundantly clear. She is right more often than I like to admit (and will most assuredly deny it if asked), but in this case I am reminded that we often neglect those that we love the most. Even with the very best of intentions, even if it’s just in the little things, we allow ourselves to be diverted by the business of work schedules, extra-curriculars, appointments, luncheons, business meetings, politics, and aspirations for the future.

Dear ones, today I would simply remind you to look closely at the people in your lives who have stuck around past the 5 year mark, 10 year mark, 15 year mark, etc. And find a way to honor them for the way they have loved you and lived with you.

Even if it’s “just” an old friend reaching out to you for lunch, or sending you an email checking in, please take the time to call them back and respond with love and grace. There’s nothing wrong with wanting the people you love to have the very best of you, and the best you can give. However, I realize now that sometimes the best gift isn’t perfection, but is simply the best of your heart in the moment, craters, fault-lines and imperfections included.

In conclusion, I know that Ego has a nasty way of coming back to bite us when we think we have covered all of our bases. But in the end, its not about our own ambitions, and who we think we have to step over or go around to get where we think we should be. It’s about the people whose lives we have touched and who have touched us in return, and the people we don’t know who will be waiting for us at the gates of Heaven.

PS- DISCLAIMER: BTW, Please don’t think that poor Katie has been languishing for years without an abundance of gifts and appreciation from me. This painting may have been a long time coming, but regardless of the lesson I’ve learned, I certainly haven’t been derelict in our friendship! ;)

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“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”  (Proverbs 17:17)